On the first day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes by and I'll give you a lifespan of 20 years." The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give you the other ten back," and God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey, and God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a 20-year lifespan." The monkey said, "How boring. Monkey tricks for 20 years? I don't think so. The dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do, too, okay?" And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow. God said, "You must go out in the field with the farmer all day long, suffer under the sun, have calves, give milk to support the farmer. I'm going to give you a lifespan of 60 years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for 60 years. Let me have 20 and I'll give you back the other 40." And God agreed.

On the fourth day, God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry, enjoy your life. I'll give you 20 years." Man said, "What? Only 20 years? I'll tell you what, I'll take my 20, add the 40 the cow gave you back, the ten the monkey gave you back, and the ten the dog gave you back. That makes 80, okay?" "Okay," God said. "You've got a deal."

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3. www.live.com
4. www.ask.com
5. www.mahalo.com
6. www.hakia.com
   
7. www.wikia.com
8. www.wikipedia.com
9. www.powerset.com
10. www.cuil.com
11. www.del.icio.us
12. www.earthfrisk.com
    
13. www.youtube.com
14. www.flickr.com
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16. www.altavista.com
    
17. www.dmoz.org
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19. www.blekko.com
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• Budget tagged at 707 billion Kshs. 36% to be financed through domestic borrowing, as usual no donor funding was factored in.
  
• Reduction of import duty on barley
• 4billion to expand the geothermal plant
• Economic growth projected at 4.6%
• 25% ownership of investment firms cap to be effected in 3 years
• Paid up capital of stock brokerage firms increased from Kshs 5m to 50m
• Paid up capital or investment banks increased from 30m to 250m for investment banks
• All vehicles to be registered before custom clearance
• IDs registration at 16 years
• Removal of duty on telecommunications equipment
• Bypass to be prioritized
• Import duty on cars specifically designed for garbage collection removed
• Motor cycles less 2500cc zero rated
• 900m for construction of Garissa - Hola road to be exclusively constructed by NYS
• NYS graduates to be absorbed into the military
• Roads received highest capital expenditure at 21.6% at KShs 65 billion
• Railway infrastructure to be expanded
• Business Regulations Reform Unit Established
• Anti-Money Laundering Act to be enacted
• Youth Enterprise Fund increased by KShs 0.5bn (established in last year's budget with a capital of 1bn)
  
• KShs 1m for each constituency for purchase of sporting kits
• Introduction of taxes on MPs allowances
• AGM information to bow be distributed electronically
• Increase of excise duty on cigarettes
• Malt based beer up by KSh 4 per litre
• Alcohol By Volume (ABV) taxation regime introduced on wines and spirits
• Penalty of 5% on insurance companies if claim not paid within 90 days
• Excise duty bull to be tabled soon in parliament
• Import duty reduction on gymn equipment for hotels
• Removal of duty on computer printers
• No donor support factored in the current budget
• National Bank of Kenya to be privatised
• Basic taxes not increased inc VAT retained at 16%
• Tax on wheat reduced to from 35% to 10%
• Bread and rice zero-rated. Wheat flour and maize flour zero rated last year
• Infrastructure bonds to be issued
• International air travel zero-rated
• 1.5 billion for the recruitment of teachers
• Mombasa to be made a free port
• 1600 nurses to be employed
• Bill for cowboy contractors to be established
• Import duty of cement reduced from 40 to 25%

Kamande feebly tried to latch the door behind him. It was a routine he had done for the last several decades. He barely remembered for how long he has lived in this house. The door could not close. Mud had hardened on the wooden door frame. It was the rainy season and this happened every year. He would faithfully get his panga and scrape off the mud from the door frame and would then proceed to close the door.

Today was different. He felt weak and tired as he had being feeling for the last several months since Mukami died. He did not have the willpower to bend and scrape off the mud. “Why bother”, he wondered as the latch fell on the floor, giving way to years of neglect and lack of maintenance.

As Kamande turned to go to bed, his torch flickered on the mud walls of his house. A house he built immediately he came out of the forest. There was jubilation in the whole country after years of fighting the white man who had taken their land, freedom and dignity. Kamande chose the hillside overlooking the plains and from a far, his family will always be overshadowed by the serenity of majestic and sacred Kirinyaga mountain. His home was close to the lush Nyandarua forest where his tenacity, endurance and survival tactics have been tested to the limits. He was a war hero, a veteran, a general who led the Nyamacaki troupe to victory. He was celebrated and revered in the whole of Nyamacaki valley.

You did not have to look closely to see the gaping holes between the doorframe and chipping mud walls of Kamande’s house. So were the wooden window frames. No wonder, he felt no urge to struggle closing the door. The frame could fall any time. He felt sad that he was unable to move Mukami to a timber-built house with a cemented floor in good time. Mugeria the lawyer had kept his hope alive that he would be paid his compensation any time soon.

“What will you do with such a large sum?”, his fellow wazees taunted him. They would then get to a day-dream escapade of how they will spend and indulge. Kamande always smiled at the thought of approaching Mwalimu with an envelope full of cash. Mwalimu owned the neighbouring undeveloped farm. Kamande had an attachment with the farm as it was his ‘ fort during the emergency era where they hid from Kamatimu, the fellow kinsmen turned Kenya Armed Rifles(KAR) soldiers who were dead bent on eliminating the MauMau. He knew the coordinates of the farm like the back of his palm. It had seven man-made holes that looked like porcupine hideouts that protected them from the brutish British grenades. It had a spring that quenched their thirst and waning hearts and gave them an urge to fight on. It was a treasure that Mwalimu had not realized and he was determined to develop it, plant tea and a few coffee bushes that will make him rich.

As Kamande dragged himself to bed, he wished and longed that things were different. He missed Mukami who was always early to go to bed. It was raining heavily outside and a chilling breeze blew in from the gapes in the wall. It worsened his sickly body and heart. He was lonely. He slumped on the bed as he gave in to a prolonged cough that made his chest ache terribly. He had not had medicine for days and his condition was worsening. Today, he was too weak to venture into Mwalimu’s farm and dig out some roots to boil and drink to ease the chest pains. Mwalimu son had passed by and gave him two hundred shillings. Now that he had money, he longed for daybreak when he will go see Dagitari who owned a clinic at the Nyamacaki shopping center. He could do with shopping for a few household items.

Clinging tightly to the cold tattered blanket for warmth, Kamande longed for Mukami who had kept him warm during the rainy season. Her warmth reverberated from her humble soul even as her health deteriorated. She always ensured that there was food for her husband and always woke up to warm it for him, however late he came home. She would faithfully wake up and endure the firewood smoke to make sure her husband slept warm. Kamande wished he had treated her much better. He wished she was alive to give him hope of living another day.

Today he was sleeping hungry. He could not remember the last time he had a decent meal. He had expected Kihia, his son, will be home early enough to prepare him some porridge. Kihia had promised to get a casual job today to earn some money to buy uji flour. Otherwise there was nothing else in the house for him to eat. Kihia had resorted to drinking heavily after the death of his mother came barely a year after he lost his wife Jane during childbirth.

Kamande coughed his heart out as drops of ice-cold rain water started soaking his blanket and the mattress. He wished he would wake up and move the bed to a safer location. He tried to move his limbs with no success. The chest pain was getting worse, his body was getting numb from the cold. He tried crying out for help. The sound of the heavy rain drowned his weak voice. Was this the end? Kamande was a general and was determined to fight like a general to the end. He would rather die fighting.

Kamande did not know how long he had been fighting the forces of nature, when Mwega stormed his house. Mwega was the only person in the world who cared for General Kamande. He had just moved in two years ago after inheriting the neighbouring farm to the East from his father. He was well built and strong and reminded Kamande of the day he joined the MauMau. He regularly checked on Kamande and assisted him a lot. Mwega went straight to where the general lay and lifted him up in his strong arms like a mother does to her baby. He called out mzee’s name once, twice, thrice and started crying out loudly.

Whenever sleep becomes elusive I try to make most of the time. So, here I am debating whether to document the dream. On second thought, for the sake of maintaining karma, the dream will not be blogged.

I have been thinking about the British Government decision to release documents relating to the UFO phenomenon. The Vatican has also intimated that belief in UFO does not contradict the Christian Faith. Many are hoping that the US will also release what it knows about the Unidentified Flying Objects.

In other circles, the debate is whether we, the earthlings, are alone in the entire universe? Is there life out there, as we know it? Are there other intelligent beings and have they been visiting us? There is even a new profession that is worth pursuing; Certified UFO Debunker. For me, it is a pet subject that I read on every time I come across such material. The question of belief is a case of splitting hairs.

Religiously, the fact that there are angels and demons is good theory that we are not alone. Pentecostal church goers can attest that angels and demons do watch and interfere with the human life. Scientifically, if there are a billion stars like our sun in the universe, there is a hypothesis that there is a planet like our earth revolving round another sun out there that could support life as we know it. Probably, even in our own Milky Way galaxy. Hollywood is a century ahead with the UFO phenomena. The first landing on the moon has its own share of UFO myths.

How come no sightings have been reported in Africa? I think the Africa UFO phenomenon is a bit dumbfounding. I remember the primary school days of Emanuel Eni and ‘Delivered from the powers of darkness and another one by a Kaniaki and Mukendi ‘Snatched from Satan Claws’. Or the tales from the Coast of Mombasa. I think the Africa UFO equivalent is underground, deep down in the red hot Africa magma, still evolving from the depths of the Congo forest.

I tend to think that if all these tales are true, either the world is being prepared for some out of this world revelation or the human being has truly evolved and is more conscious of its spiritual self.

Lastly, assume you lived in the days of Moses and other biblical characters, how would you describe and think of these ‘cloudy’ phenomena?

Exodus 13

21 And the LORD went before them by day in a pillar of cloud to lead the way, and by night in a pillar of fire to give them light, so as to go by day and night.

22 He did not take away the pillar of cloud by day or the pillar of fire by night before the people.

Exodus 14

19 And the Angel of God, who went before the camp of Israel, moved and went behind them; and the pillar of cloud went from before them and stood behind them.

20 So it came between the camp of the Egyptians and the camp of Israel. Thus it was a cloud and darkness to the one, and it gave light by night to the other, so that the one did not come near the other all that night.

24 Now it came to pass, in the morning watch, that the LORD looked down upon the army of the Egyptians through the pillar of fire and cloud, and He troubled the army of the Egyptians.

25 And He took off their chariot wheels, so that they drove them with difficulty;

Exodus 19

16 Then it came to pass on the third day, in the morning, that there were thundering and lightning, and a thick cloud on the mountain, and the sound of the trumpet was very loud, so that all the people who were in the camp trembled.

18 Now Mount Sinai was completely in smoke, because the LORD descended upon it in fire. Its smoke ascended like the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mountain quaked greatly.

Exodus 40

34 Then the cloud covered the tabernacle of meeting, and the glory of the LORD filled the tabernacle.

35 And Moses was not able to enter the tabernacle of meeting, because the cloud rested above it, and the glory of the LORD filled the tabernacle

2 Kings

11 Then, it happened, as they continued on and talked, that suddenly a chariot of fire appeared with horses of fire, and separated the two of them; and Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven.

Ezekiel 1

4 Then I looked, and behold, a whirlwind was coming out of the north, a great cloud with raging fire engulfing itself; and brightness was all around it and radiating out of its midst like the colour of amber, out of the midst of the fire.

14 And the living creatures ran back and forth, in appearance like a flash of lightning.

21 When those went, these went; when those stood, these stood: and when those were lifted up from the earth, the wheels were lifted up together with them, for the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels.

24 When they went, I heard the noise of their wings, like the noise of many waters, like the voice of the Almighty, a tumult like the noise of an army, and when: and when they stood still, they let down their wings.

Matthew 17

5 While he was still speaking, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them; and suddenly a voice came out of the cloud, saying, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. Hear Him!”

Acts 1

9 Now when He had spoken these things, while they watched, He was taken up and a cloud received him out of their sight.

For the not-faint-hearted Christians visit www.bibleufo.com