I have been four-legged since March this year. It has been an interesting moment for me as I join the working nation on a jpmobil. I have seen Kenya in a different viewpoint and have learnt some good lessons as well as made several observations. Above all, I am learning to read the unwritten rules:

• Know the Highway Code but always remember the Matatu ruleth the highway. Give way.
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• Don’t change route just because someone calls an FM station and said there is a bad jam ahead. Even if he says he has been in that jam for the last four hours. Most often it is bad but not as bad as it is put, he is competing with his wife. Whose call will be picked, his or his wife’s? It is also a pastime for lonely guys who are stuck in traffic.
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• Always keep your boot clean, it may come in handy when you offer “unwanted lifts”
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• There is always a cheaper petrol station ahead, stop worrying about the red fuel alert.
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• Overlapping is overtaking on the left side. Is overtaking illegal? Get used.
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• A roundabout is for all vehicles; stop the “stick to your lane” nonsense
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• There are no zebras from Nairobi National Park criss-crossing the city, whiz past those white and black lines, lest I test my honk decibels on you.
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• Scientifically, the other lane is always moving faster; practically there is no problem filling in the crossword puzzle on the road.
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• Jesus said we love each other. Do not fret. That is why I am as close as I can be. Spread the word.
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• I know it is a roadblock but it is still thrilling to beat you to it.
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• Friday night? Saturday evening? Keep off the road you teetotallers of little faith; our cars knoweth the road home.
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• My name is a cyclist, I am proud to be a Kenyan. Spill not my blood.
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• We are a misery lot. PAYE, VAT, Road Levy, Insurance premium, rising fuel prices, car loan, mortgage etc. We can’t help being stone-faced.
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• Kibaki government is doing a good job painting the road in solid and dotted yellow/white strips to liven the road experience. Whoever told you such lines had a meaning is an idiot.
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• Without a policeman in sight, the traffic lights are just that: fancy lights. Move!
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• You are still a kid; brace yourself for more practical learning lessons.