•Friday, October 06, 2006
being a sworn creationist with an immortal, omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient creator in mind i usually find it funny that god did not take time to refine his stuff.
like the whole business of making kids. did god have to make it so rigorous and steamy? all that energy wasted. it could light the whole world. why not make the female blow a ball of air which the male slaps to the ground and voila, a kid! and then did it have to be done through the excreting organs? why not locking of two hands or a simple 'hi five' and by the time you part your hands a generation has already began. or by osmosis?
talking of those organs, i thought a perfect machine has a hundred percent efficiency. no energy loss. there was no need for the organs to exist in the first place. just make everything eaten wholly absorbed by the body and since what is eaten has hundred percent efficiency, you would expect no by products. even the by products of a saw mill are much more efficient than that of a human being. in fact in the same theme of efficiency, god could have created efficient human system that needs no ingestion, digestion and ejection.
why the need for all those funny animals and plants. me thinks there were lots of laboratory mistakes in 'heaven' thats why all round we are surrounded by not so beautiful stuff. remember those chemistry experiments that would blast on your face during a final exam? and you had been told there will be no more rotten eggs-smelling sulphur other than the 5mg given? i think there were such beaker-based trials that blasted on god's face in heaven.
over christmas you hear your parents praying for the chemistry practical paper being marked at maseno high school, kisumu. they pray that god touches the exam marker with a golden touch and pour favour on your handwriting. wherever you are sitted, you would swallow hard. you knew too well you fucked up that practical and if you get more than a d-, then your teacher filled the marks later for you after you left the lab. if he had allowed the trial and error answers you copied from the class clown to remain, at least you could have attained a c- grade. the clown who got mesmerised when litmus paper turned blue in the first question and spent the rest of the time playing with the 'dropper' trying to make it turn white again.
i once marked some student papers and the stuff written at the end of the answer sheet was hilarious. 'my mum is praying for your hand right now, please put a 6 in front of the 5 you are giving me lest she starts cursing!'. i heard a case of some coast students who once complained that the burnsen burners provided for the chemistry practical were making the lab too hot and they blew them off. by the time the teacher realised what had happened, it was too late to light them again.
back to the heavenly laboratories, maybe some know-it-alls helpers sneaked into the night and while working on the saved cultures, they did not realise that darkness is a catalyst with adverse effects. so they ended up creating unwanted creatures that escaped the chamber. in their bid to replace the cultures before god wakes up in the morning, they ended up messing more. the man beta they released was unfinished as god was sleeping on the problem of removing some unprecedented bad behaviours he had noticed on his creation earlier in the day. the man still runs away from god, who always wants him to go back to the laboratory for a reconstruction.
then if god knows no evil, why is there evil? unless there is a competing creator who borders on the evil side. and that would demote god's omnipotency. or he could have some evil features in him. that could be blasphemous. he could not have created something he did not know, assuming he is the sole creator.
i have just counted my ribs and realised that they are equal on both sides. i expected one to be missing, at least the left rib. maybe two. adam was removed one to make eve. so i need not look for an 'eve' since mine is still intact. most likely god forgot to remove mine since i doubt he is perfect. or he removed the right one, realised he had made a mistake and went ahead to remove the left one. thats why they are four instead of the normal count as per my biology teacher or topmark book. that will challenge god's omniscience. will confirm with a few men whether theirs are in place or the left one has been removed. if you are married and you have both ribs intact, you must have stolen someone else's wife.
its more ridiculous on the evolution side. i wont even get there.
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5 comments:
LOL! maybe your ribs are intact because you were not created!!! Or you are gay? This post was/is hilarious. Actually felt bad when I came to the end.
Hmm, tread carefully, fine line between funny and blasphemy...
@half'n'half, if i were gay i think i would have a right rib missing resulting to more left ones than right ones. or maybe adorn extra ribs.
@casual_observer, don't you think christianity is among the most free speech religions? at best no amount of rantings could change the godly status quo for now from that perspective.
and if i thought about it, it means my designer gave room for such thots, unless he/she made a mistake or overlooked my capacity. at the end of it all if he/she says 'jp come up hither', nitaitika tu, i will answer when he/she calls me. unless there is none! thats another can of worms.
You are very funny jp
@prousette, welcome here