Author: jamaapoa
•Monday, September 07, 2009
Yesterday, I was stuck in the jam for almost three hours. This is quite strange being a Sunday. A Sunday evening to be precise. This happened along Jogoo road. I queued impatiently and waited anxiously to join Outering road. Any other day is normal jam day for Nairobi and that has become acceptable. Sunday is however supposed to be hallowed I presume.
At first I thought it was a small road mishap that would clear in minutes. For sometime I strained my neck craning through the window as if looking for a rainbow, a promise that it is not the destructive weekday road menace. I changed channels, played mental hide and seek with other drivers and passengers in adjacent cars, shuffled with the car's AC and a bit of daydreaming until my mind was tired. Then the many glasses of water I had taken prior to my drive started taking a toll on me and exerting pressure on my breakable system. I started feeling hot. A thin hot sweat donned my brow. I contemplated the roadside but couldn't wait to get home for a sweet relief.
Amidst my misery, I wondered, is the Kenyan social psyche that bewitched? Is our aura so poisoned that we cease to exist as a community as our selfish and greedy maniac ego-selves stake a claim for everything we can see, hear, smell, taste and feel? Is there a community of a modest behaving people you can uniquely identify and name as Kenyans?
As I joined Outering road after sweating it out for two hours on Jogoo road, I realised this was a Sunday my system will dread for a while. The oncoming traffic had overwhelmed the road's small capacity. The oncoming cars were not only overlapping, they had taken over our lane including its overlapping ragged sidewalk. We could not move for another hour. Deadlocked. I thought, these cars surely are not being driven by human beings. This must be the ultimate invasion by the Martians who converted their cold planet into a desert by cutting down all the eucalyptus trees.
I wondered what became of the Sabbath day and keeping it holy? Even the Fridatian members do not get to this level even with their sensorial excitement. What became of being good neighbours and loving them as we love ourselves? Why block a junction when you can clearly see it is not clear and you are joining a jam? Why block a lane that has the cars that will clear the roundabout for you?
For a long time I thought that Kenya's leaders are the problem. I would feel that a certain building within the central business district harboured Kenya's tragic reality. That if this building fed the appetite of the ground beneath it when all members were present then the Kenyan cancer would be cured forever.
I now theorize that Kenyans are the problem. We feed on each other and suck each other's energies whenever we can, decimating our kinsmen if need be. We are our own worst enemies, the 45 million of us. We do not love each other and in so doing hate ourselves. Gosh, it even sounds odd trying to insinuate that Kenyans can love each other.
Our problem is not Kibaki, nor Raila, nor Ruto or Kalonzo and it is not the Mudavadis. No, it is not the Kenyattas and the Mois. For all it is worth these seemingly imposing monsters are a creation of Kenyans. We give them life and feed them daily with our energies and sweat to continue working on us as we work for them.
Our social psyche is warped and our meta-physical environment is so polluted that our propensity to self-destruct is increasing at an alarming rate. Unfortunately, this phenomenon is not only on our roads, it is the daily dose on our businesses, our workplaces, our churches, our schools, our hospitals, our villages and our homes.
For the drivers on Kenyan roads, let us keenly observe how the Citi Hopas, the Double M's, KBS', Nissan Matatus and other Matatu drivers drive on our roads. If you find them impolite, harassing, bullish, offensive, discourteous, insulting, selfish and dangerous just know you are not any better, you drive like them too. All Kenyan drivers have taken and religiously practised a lesson or two from the callous and rough-on-the-edges matatu drivers. Graduates of Matatu Driving School and Computer College.
Author: jamaapoa
•Tuesday, May 19, 2009
I have been awarded with the prestigious Honest Scrap award by
Mwari wa David, the one with a golden pen, who writes golden words.
The Honest Scrap award is given to honest women and men of distinguished blogging tendencies, waking some of them from their long blogging hiatus.
The tagged were given a stern admonition,
…and don’t give an excuse of how much you hate tags. The truth is you like tags!I will not disappoint.Well to the core of the matter, ten honest things about myself.
- An honest assessment from my pals and colleagues has the verdict that I am laid back, soft-spoken and too trusting. That is probably why I did not make it to the list of Kenya's Top 40 under 40 CEOs, I was told in a recent interview. In my own view, I just like minding my own business and do not see as to why we have to fight others in the name of competition to have a standing in life. After all, no one get out of life alive, right? Of course, there are those who have found in me a "humble form of badness" but I try my best. All the same I have proved to myself to be a worthy opponent in several competitive situations.
- I love chapos and wheat products to a point of addiction. The same has taken a toil on my mid section over the years. In the same breath, I can comfortably feed this addiction without help in the kitchen. In my bachelor days, a loaf a day was the mantra, half in the morning, half in the evening. In between there will be mandazis, chapos, pancakes and digestive biscuits. Now, with queen in charge of home affairs there is a curfew in place to make me walk in the straight and narrow path of veggies, fruit/vegetable salads and fresh juices
- I am a man who gets teary very fast although it is 3 and a half years since I cried. It is like my tear sacs wait for the slightest provocation. The secret is to avoid fights, arguments and lashings from bosses that can get me to that situation. I once walked out on a bossy boss whose words nearly got me to that point, will never forget the look on his face despite the warning letter. To maintain the manly feat of "no tears" I like playing weak and vulnerable in contentious and warring situations or simply walking away
- In the last year, for the first time in my life, I have strongly felt like killing someone. The situation eased after a while
- I do not know how the Kiereini products taste, ever, or experienced the luxurious trappings of the Masterminds and BATs of this world. Guess it has to do with my priestly upbringing. Sometime last year, one stressful day I woke up with a feeling of "lighting up" after a dreamland experience of this relieving and releasing feeling of a smoke. Could not gather the courage though.
- I have always imagined I will end up as a priest (the kind that is bought a lexus by the parishioners for a birthday present) or a politician (the kind that solves all the villagers problems). I am getting realistic by the day. That said, I am not enthusiastic about politics, for it once threatened the lives of my family and being in church for eons has turned me into a critic that can mess up the pulpit
- I am kinda of a techie ... my subtle footprints are allover the Kenya digispace
- I had this ambition of running three profitable businesses by the time I am 30. By December last year, they were three, in a span of less than five months, I only have one left, I blame the global crisis. 30 is approaching very fast, I may have to dream again
- When it comes to giving honest opinions, I tend to be diplomatic aka beating around the bush with words. I find it hard to be a straight shooter with words, lest I hurt feelings, I believe in human flaws. Unfortunately, I still have a feeling of unforgiven hurts out there caused by my words.
- For my first VCT experience, I went all the way to Kijabe Missions hospital (to ensure I will not meet anyone I know if I went to a centre within Nairobi) only to find the VCT centre closed as it was a public holiday. The nurse on duty referred me to the TB clinic where TB patients were doing their followups and drug collections. When it was my turn to see the doctor, I chickened out wondering what to tell him and walked out of the clinic to the amazement of other waiting patients. I was mainly worried of an injury I had at the barber while having a haircut and not because of any untoward expeditions. It was Christmas of 2005, I wanted to visit the village without a stigmatizing conscience.
One of the rules is to choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that I find brilliant in content and design. This is my list of untagged blogs, please accept the honours
and these are the rules ...
instructions for the award are: (but feel free to break the rules!)
- You must brag about the award
- You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger
- You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
- Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog.
- List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!
Happy blogging everyone
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Author: jamaapoa
•Thursday, March 26, 2009
Actually the title is a bit paradoxical since a belief system is the foundation of somebody's individuality and personality. However, I do feel that with the experience I have had since I embarked on a life rejuvenation journey, there is need to have the belief system anchored on something. That has formed my current battle of the mind.
Once you decide to re-evaluate your life in a bid to improve and develop yourself, you have to address the issue of your belief system in order to move forward. I see a belief system as what you stand for, what guides you and what forms a basis for your values in life.
A lot of self-development, self-improvement and self-motivation proponents and speakers suggest that before you can embark on the journey of self-improvement you have to discard all the rules, beliefs, traditions and culture you have come across and relied on since you began life and embrace their proposed philosophy of getting the ultimate best out of life.
That has been my first challenge in my life improvement journey. It is even more antagonizing when the mind is the first target in this life transforming process. It is easier to agree with issues to do with the body in respect to health and fitness or career and finances or society and community involvement, but a lot harder when it comes to addressing issues relating to your belief system and value system which are anchored in the mind.
The mind, supposedly contained in the human brain is the most complex and complicated phenomenon to have and examine. While it is amorphous and intangible, it is the engine of life; determining the quality of existence. It is the internal compass that defines an individual's direction in life. It is the most difficult to master and is the substance that houses the foundation of a belief system that benchmarks what one stands for in life.
I grew up in a Christian background, heavily endowed with biblical teachings that to a larger extent have shaped my belief system. In times of waywardness it is that biblical compass that herds me back to the fold and acts as a signaling system to what extent I can roam. A lot of the materials I have come across in charting a way forward in my pilgrim journey are antagonistic to that original belief system and some even borders to the Christian defined occultic and cultic teachings, even blasphemous.
In fact, upto my early twenties, the Christian belief system worked well for me. This was probably as a result of strong Christian faith convictions. Not that I no longer have them, but I think with exploration the faith is a bit rusty. Then, I was in inner peace and tranquility, my mind unconflicted about what life is all about and always set to achieve my goals in life, accepting the obstacles and failures I encountered as part of the refinement process. What most staunch christians would term as a faith-based mentality. Things do not have to be in physical existence to be realizable. I strongly believed the christian faith was infallible.
Over the last five years my view of the christian faith has changed profoundly . Maybe I have shed off some spiritual naivety or become more tolerant. I will not explore that significant change for now. All the same, I have found myself pondering whether that change has affected my belief and value system for the better or for worse. Although, the fact that I have opened myself up for a life rejuvenation trek may imply that I feel antagonized, unsettled or under-achieved with my current belief system.
At some point, since I decided to self-improve and self-motivate, I had to make a decision on where to anchor my belief system. Whether to re-anchor it on the childhood naive-kind of christian faith or to found it on the contemporary almost comprising new age kind of philosophical teachings that are gaining currency.
That is my pilgrim progress.
Author: jamaapoa
•Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Every so often, nature rejuvenates and renews itself. I feel it is a good time I re-energized and replenished my inner resources to better cope with life, be more fulfilled and actualized.
It is said that human beings shed dead skin every hour giving way to unsullied skin which is more efficient in the skin function. This dead skin constitute most of the dust in our houses. Snakes just shed off the dead skin at once to give way to a more radiant fresh skin. This is an essential process that enhances the survival of the species.
Birds go through a molting phase once in a while. I have seen it with chicken and as quoted in the widely circulated eagle's motivation story. The worn and torn feathers whose quality is low are replaced by sturdier fresher feathers.
What a better way to start this self improvement process than boosting the mind to power up the positive changes I want to see in my life. Hopefully I will strike a balance in enriching the triad of the spirit, soul and body in this new adventure.
Currently I have delved into self-motivation and self-improvement books to sustain the momenta and energize enough to have the body and the soul move along this journey. When I started a few weeks ago the spirit was a bit willing, the mind was lazy and the body was haywire. Of late I find the spirit willing, the mind is considerate and the body is starting to crawl.
Change is hard, I have learnt in those few weeks, but very essential if we want to experience growth and fulfilment in life. At times we settle for less, get content with the status quo or gradually allow depreciation of our living. We do not make an attempt to move to higher ground or hold on to what we have. Then things start to suddenly slip through our fingers and before we know it we are down. At times we don't go down but always live with that guilty feeling that we could have done more to better our lives and that of those around us.
Well, I have a journey to make and experience. I hope it will be pleasant and enjoyable with less potholes and traffic jam. Will be sharing more of what I learn around here.
Author: jamaapoa
•Wednesday, February 04, 2009
I am about to say that Mwai Kibaki and Raila Odinga are getting dumber by the day or are the most foolish Kenyans we have around. But I will not say it.
They have today launched the public-fleecing
Kenya we want conference at KICC. Among the key note speakers is retired president Daniel Moi. Michael Ranneberger, the US ambassador is also prescribing the Kenya he wants, rather the US wants.
One year down the line, after building a government on the blood of innocent Kenyans, Mwai Kibaki and Raila Odinga flanked by their sidekicks still have no clue about what to do with Kenya. Maybe grab the Kenyan's Unga and gulp it down their throats with super unleaded petrol.
They have no clue what the IDPs scattered in parts of Rift Valley and Central Kenya want?
They have no clue why Wanjiku still awaits a new constitutional dispensation.
They have no clue what the victims of Post Election Violence want? Those who lost their loved ones to the blades of machetes and barrel of guns. No idea what the women, children and men who were violated sexually daily yearn for.
No idea what the residents of Kibera and Majengo slums dream of every night and lunch hour?
What the jam-stricken Nairobians hourly wish for?
Kibaki and Raila cannot imagine what the residents of Baringo, North Eastern, Kitui, Kibwezi and other Ukambani areas yawn for?
A poverty reduction strategy away and a Vision 2030 blue print to boot, they had to waste public funds on a buffoonly instituted conference. The Kenya we want my foot!
They had to call Daniel Moi and Michael Rannebeger to tell them what sought of a Kenya they want.
How dumber can our leaders get. Aaargh!
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Author: jamaapoa
•Tuesday, January 20, 2009
In 1986 I witnessed a spectacular phenomenon that lit up our pure and quiet evening sky; the passing by of a comet. I later learnt that the Comet is known as Halley's comet and is visible by earthlings every 76 years. The next pass by will be in mid 2061! With the current mortality rate and degradation it is almost a guarantee I will be a bygone by then. Probably, lucky to be alive with no eyesight or hearing.
Today it has just struck me, how monumental Barack Obama's inauguration is to the world and specifically to the darker community, leave alone the Kenyan roots. It is a historic moment that I am privileged to be alive to.
Moreso, it is a defining moment that declares that we are all equal regardless of our skin tone or ancestry. It is an authority to the unlimited potential that we all possess and asserts that we all can what we will and focus on.
The rubber stamp of this ideal lies in the success of Obama's presidency. Four years down the line, the old mindsets will be validated or quashed. I spare a thought and a prayer for the success of the O presidency.
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